Listen understand not to reply and building stronger relationships

Building Stronger Relationships in Business and Beyond


I don’t know about you, but I often catch myself thinking about what I should answer even before the other person has finished talking. This realisation made me ponder the nature of our daily interactions. In the fast-paced rhythm of today’s world, where conversations sometimes can feel more transactional than genuine, the art of creating meaningful connections becomes increasingly valuable. Drawing inspiration from John DiJulius‘ enlightening article, “Meet as a Stranger, Leave as a Friend“, this blog delves into how empathy, vulnerability, and compassion can significantly enhance our interactions, particularly in the professional arena, and help us to build stronger relationships in our professional as well as our private lives. For us in business, learning how to transform our professional interactions into more rewarding win-win relationships should be a critical success factor in our daily work!

Understanding the Invisible Sign: “Make Me Feel Important”

DiJulius aptly points out that everyone carries an invisible sign that reads “Make me feel important”. This simple yet profound concept reminds us that a human seeks recognition and validation at the heart of every interaction. In business, whether with clients, colleagues, or employees, acknowledging this sign can transform an ordinary exchange into an opportunity for building a lasting relationship.

Listening to Understand, Not Just to Reply

According to one study, it takes the human brain 0.6 seconds to respond, while the average gap between people talking is just 0.2 seconds. This suggests that often, we’re not genuinely listening; we’re just waiting for our turn to speak. By consciously shifting our approach to listening with the intent to understand, we open the doors to more profound empathy and connection.

The Magic of Focusing on Others

The key to building an emotional connection is to focus entirely on the other person. It’s about making the interaction less about us and more about them. When genuinely engaging without rushing to share our story, we create a space where true understanding and rapport can flourish.

The FORD Technique: A Path to Deeper Connections

DiJulius introduces a technique he calls FORD. FORD means Family, Occupation, Recreation, and Dreams. FORD can help us keep conversations focused on the other person. This approach not only helps them to understand what matters most to them, but it also fosters a sense of importance and value in the interaction.

Remembering and Using Personal Information

Creating a system for remembering and using the personal information shared by others is crucial. This could be as simple as notes on a phone or a more elaborate customer relationship management system. The goal is to show that you value and remember what’s important to them, reinforcing the strength of the connection.

Priming Your Mind to Notice and Engage

Just like noticing more cars of a specific model and colour after buying one yourself, using tools like FORD primes our minds to be more observant and engaged in conversations. This heightened awareness can lead to more meaningful interactions and the discovery of shared interests or experiences.

The Reward of Genuine Interest

Ultimately, the greatest reward in building connections is the friendship and mutual respect that develops. We cultivate fulfilling and beneficial relationships when we approach interactions with a genuine interest in others, not just for what we can get from them. We probably get more out of them when we approach them in this way.

Conclusion – Transform professional interaction to build stronger relationships

We can transform professional and personal interactions by embracing empathy, vulnerability, and compassion. This approach enriches our lives and creates a more considerate and connected world. Remember, every conversation is an opportunity to turn a stranger into a friend. Not only that, but applying these principles will help us build stronger relationships and make us more productive in our professions! Let’s make every interaction count!

The image is a free picture from Photo by Direct Media on StockSnap.

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